A prayer for James

Dear Father in Heaven:

It's been a while, hasn't it? I want to take a moment to lift up a prayer for a friend who has left this earth, far too quickly with far too short a notice. 

It seems the words "friend" and "brother" haven't held as much meaning as they do right now. It may seem even stranger to admit the strange endearing relationship I had shared with my friend, you son and the beloved earthly soul of James.

Amongst a group of closely knit friends who shared a past, it may be strange to admit that more often times than not, I had been a stranger. "Too much time had passed," I would think, "surely no one would remember who I was, or the history that we had shared." But not James. The  others and I would share awkward glances and courtesy-ed smiles from a bygone day. James was indifferent to those polite glances of forgotten hellos, instead warmly smiling at me and greeting me with not only a kind-hearted hello, but a warm smile calling me by my name and asking me about the time I had spent apart from else. While small, every single time it was the kindest gesture one had ever shown me.

Not everyone knows this, but James and I have a history that reaches back in our younger days. We'd go to the Cho house to hang out and play. Admiring our older sisters, I had always innocently wished and hoped  that our sisters Mia and Rachel would include me in their play, but more often than not, the door was shut to James and I, for private discussion about boys, dreams and whatever else the better knowing older sisters we admired would have to discuss. 

James could have easily turn a shoulder and gone off on his own, but instead he welcomed me into his room to show me his greatest treasure: his aquarium. Reflecting now, I'm sure this aquarium was small in size, but at the time, it was the largest most amazing aquarium I had ever seen. James proudly showed off the two fish in his possession within the well-kept tank, before quickly kicking me out and shutting the door in my face. It's amazing he didn't do that sooner, as I was quite the needy younger sibling and quick to annoy, and so eager to over-feed each of his precious fish.

While this moment may seem insignificant and small, it was my defining moment in the relationship I shared with James. I knew then that he would always be a good carer and provider, seeing the way he lovingly cared for those fish, and from that moment on, envisioned for him a full life full of children, providing each of them with much needed guidance and care.

When we grew older, our circles changed. Often our friends would combine or disassemble, but we were always cordial and friendly to one another. As we grew into young adults I could see the fatherly character arise within him. He became a leader amongst his friends, chartering a path both in a professional career and guidance for a life independent. I could see how greatly his father and sister were proud of him, overcoming all obstacles in his life with ease as he grew into the self-sustained adult, accomplished in so many ways than one. He became someone that so many of us were proud to call our friend, and someone we dearly came to know as a brother.

While it may seem strange to lift up this prayer in a crowded el-car late at night, I pray, Lord, that you'll look past the clouded judgement of my misguided heart and the murky waves of sin that have so closely followed my life, but instead look upon this one prayer of hope that I lift up for a brother. I pray, Lord, that he knew of the love that every single person had for him, and did not feel anything but your grace in his final moments. I pray that he has comfort now, in a place filled with nothing but joy and pride for the full life he led. I pray that those of us left on earth, don't take for granted the short life we've been gifted, but instead respect the time granted to each of us and live fully, with respects paid to those we've already lost. I pray that you give solace and comfort to the Cho family, and have them move forward knowing their beloved son, your child and our friend is now at peace.

If we've ever needed the comfort of a higher power, it is now; and I pray you have this prayer for the pure soul of our dear friend James, close to your ears and closer still to your heart.

Amen.

Psalm 23:4 
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.